The simple answer is no! We believe:
…you truly know best.
…it goes against the true purpose of therapy.
…we are not wiser than you.
…we may not even know what you should do.
Over the years, media has popularized some stereotypes and assumptions about therapy. Some of the most common ones we have run into as therapists are:
- “I’ll probably be lying on a couch during every session.”
- “If therapy is working, I’ll be ‘fixed’ quickly.”
- “My therapist will tell me what I should do.”
- “Therapists all look and act a certain way.”
- “Therapy is just talking about my feelings.”
- “My therapist will keep asking, ‘how does that make you feel?'”
There is some truth in the last two assumptions, but therapy is by no means limited to a discussion about feelings as therapists attempt to go much deeper than “so, how did that make you feel?”
At the heart of therapy is the understanding that you are the expert on your own life. A competent therapist desires to support their client in finding confidence in themselves so they can trust the decisions that they make. If we were to tell our clients what to do, we may unintentionally create the belief that they are incapable of finding the right answers within themselves and need to depend on us for answers. Our goal is not to keep you in therapy forever but rather, help you build the confidence, skills, and self-trust to navigate life’s challenges and create a life that aligns with your values while knowing that therapy is always here if you need support again.
Like our clients, we are human. We don’t have all the answers, and we don’t believe therapy is about fixing people. Lasting change happens through a collaborative relationship where you feel safe, heard, and understood.
As therapists, we are trained to:
- Listen deeply and without judgment
- Ask thoughtful, collaborative questions
- Explore emotions with curiosity and compassion
- Recognize patterns in thoughts, behaviours, and relationships
- Highlight strengths and resilience
- Offer empathy and validation
- Provide evidence-informed when helpful
- Support emotional growth, self-awareness, and lasting change
Many people wonder if their therapist needs to have lived through the same experiences as their clients to truly help. The answer is no. Effective therapy isn’t about sharing identical life experiences; it’s about creating a safe, compassionate connection. Through professional training and a deep understanding of emotions like fear, shame, guilt, grief, and low self-worth, we help our clients heal and grow, regardless of the source of their pain. Relating to the emotions evoked rather than the experience itself, is all that is needed.
Our role as a therapist is to help you strengthen your self-awareness, build confidence, and reconnect with your inner wisdom. Therapy is about empowering you, not creating dependence on someone else’s answers.
If you’ve ever asked, “Why won’t my therapist tell me what to do?” consider this: What if the purpose of therapy is to help you discover that you already have the capacity to find your own answers?
Megan Mootoo & Stephanie Doerr
