When we have lost someone we love, the holiday season can feel like a painful reminder of their absence. The lights, laughter, and festivities may intensify feelings of loneliness or sadness, leaving you wondering how to find joy when your heart feels so heavy.

While the holidays may never be quite the same after a loss, it is possible to cultivate moments of joy, however small, while honouring your grief. Here are a few ways to navigate this season with a heart open to both sorrow and peace:

Honour Their Memory

One of the most healing things you can do during the holidays is find ways to remember and honour your loved one. This could be lighting a candle in their memory, sharing stories about them with friends and family, or continuing a tradition they loved. By incorporating their memory into your holiday rituals, you can create a bridge between your grief and the joy of the season, allowing their spirit to live on in your heart.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Grief is a complex emotion that doesn’t disappear just because it’s the holidays. Instead of suppressing your sadness or trying to force yourself to “enjoy” the festivities, give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up. It’s okay to experience moments of grief, and it’s also okay to experience moments of happiness. Both emotions are part of your journey, and embracing them can bring a sense of relief and healing.

Create New Traditions

If old traditions feel too painful, consider starting new ones. Whether it’s baking a favourite recipe, watching a holiday movie that brings comfort, or taking a peaceful walk in nature, creating new rituals can help shift the focus from loss to renewal. These traditions can bring small moments of joy and help you feel a sense of connection to the present, rather than staying stuck in the past.

Lean on Loved Ones

Even if you don’t feel like celebrating in the traditional sense, connecting with those who care about you can offer support and comfort. Surrounding yourself with understanding friends or family, or even reaching out to a grief support group, can help you feel less alone in your journey. Sometimes, just being with others, without the expectation of “cheer,” can provide a sense of peace and warmth.

Take Breaks and Set Boundaries

The holidays can be overwhelming, especially when you’re grieving. It’s important to listen to your body and soul, and give yourself the space you need. If you need to skip a party, decline an invitation, or take a quiet moment for yourself, that’s okay. Setting boundaries and pacing yourself is a loving act of self-care that helps protect your emotional well-being.

Find Moments of Quiet Joy

Grief and joy can coexist, and sometimes the smallest things can bring comfort. A cup of tea, the sound of holiday music, or the beauty of twinkling lights on a quiet evening can offer pockets of peace amidst the emotional storm. Seek out those little moments that bring you comfort, even if just for a moment, and allow yourself to savour them.